We Rats
~Humans~

Humans are some of the most popular pets there are, and we have heard many good things about them from our fellow rats. They can be taught to feed you, play with you, pet you, and pamper you to your hearts content. However, they can be a bit flaky if you neglect to train them. The trick is to make them think that they're the boss, and, if you're willing to throw away some pride, you should even try to give them the impression that they're the ones training you (ha). Our human has caught on to this one, but fortunately she's sporting enough to do what we want anyway. It's also best to tolerate exessive squishing, belly smooching, and smothering. Humans can make excellent pets as long as you train them properly. Here's a really excellent site that we stumbled upon with great advice on human training.
A Rat's Guide To Responsible Human Ownership

Training Your Human

It's best to start when your human is young, however, if this is not possible, just start as soon as you get it. Firstly and most importantly, make sure your human thinks that they're the one in charge. That way you can still do anything you want, but you're not held responsible for anything. The next thing to do is to establish a schedule that your human follows. This also gives them the impression that they're in charge, while it actually enforces your dominance. It's best to incourage your human to do lots of web based research, because this helps them find out what kind of cage to buy you, what kind of food to get you, and tons of other useful stuff. It's very important that you supervise your human while they do this, because they may stumble upon something that says that we shouldn't get to many sugary treats, in which case you will find it necessary to chew through the computer cord.